When Bob and I got married, it quickly became understood that his family got together for Thanksgiving and my family for Christmas. His family has always celebrated Thanksgiving together and it is a big tradition dating back to grandparents. This was a great solution to the problem of who got us for Christmas since my mother was all about the Christmas holidays.
When we started our family however, we had to set some ground rules. Christmas morning was for our children and us. Mom and Dad would come at noon for Christmas dinner and to enjoy the kids delight over their Christmas gifts.
As our kids grew and married, it came time for them to set ground rules. Little did I realize each would be slightly different especially after the grandkids started arriving. And they are still evolving. Now that the families are so spread out around the country, we cherish the times when they decide to spend the holidays with us.
One family alternates years between grandparents. Another gets together with us just before or after Christmas and the other family often joins us right at Christmas and has their own Christmas celebration early. Some years we have a house full of all the kids, big and little, and other years. . .well, sometimes Bob and I just like to "skip Christmas" and go on a cruise.
Planning ahead and setting some ground rules or expectations saves a lot of heartache especially if you have a parent/grandparent who is overly eager to be the Christmas-doer for everyone. Don't wait to long to have the discussion. Too close to the holidays and it could make things even more difficult. Wishing you all the best as you approach what is often a diffiult subject to handle.